you think this is all i want?

after thinking for a very long time.

i want to do a confession here.

as you see, sinyen and i are having

some problems. and i don't even

know what's that problem about.

she doesn't care about me anymore.

seriously, not at all. usually at this time,

or today and any other days, she'll

call me, talk to me and we'll laugh and

talk stupid stuff. gross things. and all.

but then this holiday's kinda different.

i don't think we're close anymore.

not close at all. looking at her is like

looking at a stranger i don't even know.

i thought i know her but then i just don't

know why, everything's so different now.

no more goody buddy. ?? she's just

ignoring me. always neglecting the topic.

and will jump to the other one which

sometimes, i'm not interested in.

is that all because she already had someone

else and she doesn't need a friend like me

anymore? is that all because of ivan?

even now, i think i'm closer to ratu and

julianne and michelle and winnieko than her.

my used to be best friend. i used to be

happy when i talked about her to anyone.

i was proud to have a friend like her.

but now, tears is all when it comes to her.

Yen says:

free?

this is what she just said. and it somehow
created a smile on my face. (:
she's going to maywoon's party with me
and will be overnighting in my house.
we planned to go somewhere tomorrow.
and i hope. i seriously hope that we will
be like last time again. just heart-to-heart talk.
no lies. no nothing between both of us.
it's really sad whenever i think i might lose
such a good friend someday when we're older.
but now. i think i shall stop here. prepare for
what's coming next and enjoy the time with
my best friend sinyen and also my good old
friend, maywoon. (: bye.