i just wanna escape.

im back from sunway and bought a pair of heels (love)
and also something from forever 21. im.so.tired.
i dont know what to do. wth is happening!
we're so good, just so good two days ago.
and things gone wrong. urgh! who should i fall back into?
is it really time for me to just shut you out of my life.
omgosh, wth am i talking about? i just wanna sit and talk to
you tomorrow, face to face. i hope you understand.

give me some time to think.

byebye~ off to sunway!

p.s : im wearing a dress. :)

you ruined our relationship.

good morning humans, its 10am now.
ahh~ i wish today's a good day. :)
i will try not to call you. not to online later.
not to do anything that is related to you.
not to wear anything that reminds me of you.
and forget every single thing between me and you. (trying)
do you know .........?
huh? who's that, sorry, i dont know her.
HAHAHAHA! YESH! EXACTLY LIKE THAT. jjk
too much happened last night.
and i choosed to avoid. avoid as many things as i can.
but avoiding is not a great idea. just for today.
let me have a nice day. :)  and i will face every stupid nonsense tomorrow.
avoid things between you both. i just cant control the tears that rolled down last night.
OKAY, stooooooooooooooooooooop. full stop.

im going gym in a few minutes time!
training with mr jason? wanna go to the cardio and forget everything about you.
cant stop thinking last night man. im sure of one thing, im not wrong.
friends, haih. forget about them. lets go shopping today!
woohoo! We're (mum, sis and i) going to Sunway later.
oh shit, homework not done yet. dont have the mood to do also.
planned to do last night. but :S, found out something that i shouldnt know.
i wanna change class la. just joking. i wanna change school. just joking.
seriously, i dont wanna see all these anymore. fcking annoying.

i wanna dress up like a girl today. :) byeeeee~

she's making me crazy.

1st picture : thanks julianne, for the christmas pressie.

2nd picture : i wanted that badly and my dad said it's a waste of money,

but then he bought me that on 25 december 2008. thanks.

i was bored.

im trying not to think about it.

but i just cant stop thinking about it.

maybe alcohol can help.

i just wanna forget everything.

and smile happily without you in my mind.

you upset me. you spoiled my day.

i dont blame you. because you couldnt understand me.

you wouldnt know how pain is it.

you told me that day that you wouldnt do it again.

but you just did it. did you deliberately do something like that to hurt me?

tears roll down my cheeks when you told me.

i just want to forget everything.

like it never happened. it's not a big deal for you.

but you, as my friend, knows me well.

you get all mad when i asked you.

you told me you didnt do anything.

but sorry, i just cant stop thinking.

that day, you apologised...blankly.

i forgive you sincerely.

i loved you once more.

but you made things worse.

worse and worse day by day.

i can fell the scratches in my heart.

it hurts.

you spin my head upside down.

watched Tiger Woohoo. it was a funny movie.

it feels great to watch comedy when you're upset about something.

she asked me something today. i dont even know how to answer her.

whats facebook?

i was like, how should i explain.

so someone asked me to tell her,

putting your face on the book = facebook!

so i told her that, and she was like, huh?

and asked me, can chat with friends one isit?

i answered her, putting your face on the book and

talk to the book. you're actually chatting with books already.

she laughed. i dont know why she laughed also. haha!

ahhh, i seriously get really angry when people break promises.

but what to do, what should i do?

it really really upset me sometimes. its not that i dont wanna be happy.

you ARE the one who CAUSED all these troubles that kept on

PLAYING in my MIND. i wanna do something to get rid of those stupid stuff.

bloody asshole.  =.=

i wanna watch Haunted University. a thai horror film.

anyone? no one. watch with my father again. haha.

so long~

fighting against my eagerness. i must be patient.

wooo! im going out for a movie later!  :D
xoxoxoxoxo...........

sorry if you think im talking about you in the previous post.
i didnt mean to do that. its just some random 'anyone'
and i didnt mention any names.  soooo loooong!

movie here i come. things that upset me, kiss goodbye!

tell me your sweet love hasnt died.

i had a good day today.

(minus the school and friends part)

getting really bored of dramas by her/him/anybody.

i just wanna live my life to the fullest.

i dont wanna see you act and pretend like you're always first.

i dont give a shit to you. coz you're also a pile of bloody shit.

(worse than my shit, hers/his bloody. lol)

i cant play that stupid song smoothly yet.

i love gym!

mr jason told me today after sharing some problems with him.

mr jason : you have us rite?

(us = referring to sis and him)

awww, thats sooo sweeet. thanks mr jason for gambateh-ing me.

did hardcore workouts today. pheeeeeewy. aching!

my sister came after gym and waited for 30 minutes.

SORRY SIS! i take bath memang very slow one.

tried on few teee. and bought almost all.

6 of them. in brands outlet. nice what the tee there!

i love this LEAVE ME ALONE! haha. cooool.

my sister wanted to buy LEAVE ME ALONE! too, but then no size already.

stupid rite? planned to have they sister teeeee.

i kinda like this too. :)

she looks sooo cacat here. like 'wth. what are you doing?'

HAHAHA!

sis : my eyes very small la.

me : come lets take a picture of us. enlarging our eyes.

ada difference? of course la! haha.

i told my sis on the way back :

many people, in fact most of the people think i simply love here and there.

but the fact is, i never LOVED anyone before.

i like only what. ada salah meh? and also, sometimes,

they dont really have the right to judge what kind of person i am.

but when we're back to this realistic world, humans judge.

sometimes i dont know whats so great if more boys talk to her.

like seriously, whats so great about that?

that will just make her name goeees down down down. poop.

all the way down when people around her think she's....

(skip that part)

conclusion, im not a person who play around,

and definitely not a person who simply love.

love is a strong word. the word LOVE is for my family only.

my friends dont even have the kind of LOVE from me.

*but i still kinda love muntat, kiko, leekern (for the pasta) kartigan etc.*

etc etc...

(need to skip, else some people out there say im trying to humiliate

them in my blog. no offend.)

seriously, i dont know whats going on now.

you and i, we both's just soo messed up now.

why? i dont know. maybe there's something wrong.

my dad : girls that get jealous over guys are stupid.

me : are you referring to me? every girls get jealous over guys la.

my dad : i just think they're stupid.

me : i dont know what to do.

my dad : ignore her/him/anyone.

YES SIR!

you love to compete, but you'll never win.

i wanna be ignorant.

i want them to hate me.

wth? haha! i cant think properly now.

too much things happened in a really short time.

you. yes you. have fun flirting or whatsoever.

because i just wanna play my piano! :D

you're somehow the right one.

Julianne : why suddenly so hot one arr?
Me : because the sun's seeing red.

HAHA! FUNNY RITE? quite la.

i just wanna play piano.

bad day. bad bad day.

everything happened the other way round.

argh, homework.

will you keep me warm when im feeling cold?

dreaming can be really fun.

this picture was taken by fion on the second day in taiwan. :)

i still remember sinyen and i running toward the waves and when the big waves were coming,

we both ran back like crazeeh. shouted here and there. really had fun that time.

i miss those moments when we shared our laughters together,

no argues, no misunderstandings, no...nothing.

just plain simple laughters will do. if only we human can live like that everyday.

i'm currently working on taiwan day 4 now. sabar sabar.

day 4 was pretty fun. i love day 4. nono, let me rephrase it,

i love day 1 to day 9 in taiwan! wooohoooo! i just love those times.

and now, back to this stupid school life. homeworkhomework. it's killing me.

i love to see you smile,
and when you walked beside me.
i'd love to stay by your side,
if you'd allow me too.
i'd love to be myself when i'm with you,
if you could give me more time.
i'd love to talk to you,
if you stop by to say hi.

do you have a space in your heart for me to fall into?

a little yet many.

i woke up around 7.40am today! damn early!

i went out with my sisty to some place to help out for some events.

i wanted to go home...soooooo badly when the clock struck 12 in the afternoon.

sooo damn sleepy man! kept on complaining to my sisty that i wanan go home.

since since 12 i told her, she said she has a meeting,

then i said okay fine, after meeting! then she said, okay.

after her meeting, she said she needs to do something before going off.

i said please la, faster la. then she said kkk. kept on giving excuses until 7pm!

=.=  almost found dead. haha! like seriously, very sleepy.

i haveeee sooooooooh many homework. urghhhh!

too much already. can die la! home tuition + school work.

sigh sigh sigh......

talking to stupid vincent say now.

but im glad i went today. many funny stuff happened.

i enjoyed half of the talk, and i fell asleep for the last talk. haha!

so i was supposed to serve people.

there's one time, when i served cincau drinks to people.

i came across this guy, he has no cup with him so i approached him and gave him a glass.

and wth? he thinks i like him. he came and talked to me and say thanks

for the drink all those. haha! damn funny rite?

i was like mumbling there, wth? you seriously think i like you?

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

then we had this passing around the tupperware thing.

it was fun. i learned soooo many new stuff today. :)

thanks sis.

nonono, you made me sooo tired today.

my whole body's aching.

homework, here i come. :(

quick, i need a title. (sya's so darn sexy)

i feel alot better after having dinner with my dad

in barbq plaza. ate hell alot!

my dad's face's a bit swollen. his right side. he looks....different.

haha.

i like my eye colour. but i dont really like this colour.

wth...haha! i dont really like this colour la.

practiced guitar and piano just now. urgh. still cant play guitar properly.

i have to put in more effort!

im waiting for you.

but you'll never reach me.

im going to run some errands with my sis tomorrow.

early in the morning. i cant sleep late this weekend, again.

i wanna watch ju-onn!

anyone? ahhh, no one. i will watch it myself.

im sooo sleepy now. but i dont feel like sleeping.

coz i slept so long just now and.....my day's so incomplete.

why?

are you having a bad day?

because i am. i have been sleeping since 2.45pm.
till now, 6 in the evening. i feel so helpless today.
in the sense of, tiring. i feel like as if i have no energy to talk to you.
i just cant help myself. its not that im being selfish.
i kept on standing on your side to think about it.
but i still dont understand. nevermind. im hungry.
i feel like eating. EATING ALOT!

my finger hurts. finally, my teacher taught me a song today.

the first song i played on guitar, its a very short song, but sounds familiar.

i think i heard from somewhere before. my finger hurts.  >.<

and i played some songs on piano too.

its soo nice to hear songs played by myself again.

it has been a long time since i touched that keyboard. :D

those songs were cheerful.

(but then didnt cheer me up)

walked around, tried on few shirts and dresses + shoes,

i dont have money to buy anything because im totally broke.

(and my heart's broken into pieces)

saddening i know. this is one of the dress i like most.

very body fitting and i think it looks nice. i think! haha.

hmmm, i feel so helpless now.

argh, im afraid that i cant go to that leadership camp tomorrow.

i told my father today and he was like 'huh! why didnt you tell me earlier. i have an appointment'

shit.

i dont know how la. i think he'll squeeze out some time or ask one of those

people to fetch me. im sooo tired now, but i dont feel like sleeping. wth.

today's not a very-good day.

school sucks today. sucks to the max. i hate today. alot.

but after school, everything seems to turn out well.

but its still not a good day. i'm waiting. bye.

you are what i need.

i need to practice my guitar now and memorize those chords.
=)  but i have tons of incomplete work.
i asked sinyen to wake me up early in the morning tomorrow
so that i can finish them in school. byebye! school's fun, so far.

nieces

a delayed post rite.

if you can still remember what i posted in the prev prev x??? post.

i talked about painting my niece's nail. both of them actually.

xin xin & hui hui.

i realised something when they came back last holiday.

they can speak properly now. and i mean they're no more small little babies.

i can still remember looking at xinxin when she was born.

so small and we all thought she has something wrong, but lucky, she has nothing wrong. x)

i can also remember when huihui's out, when she cried like a sheep. (seriously)

her voice was soooo friggin low and she looked like a baby boy. not so pretty.

loook at her now. posing for me.

haha! time flies. i cant really carry them now.

(they're kinda heavy already)

im really pissed sometimes when they play my piano without my permission.

>.<  as for this picture, i deliberately asked her to pose. so its not her fault. :)

this girl (she's xinxin) the long hair one. (fattest also)

do you want to paint your nails?

yes. :)

there you go, lollipop. wait, promise me something first.

yes?

pose!

and yes, they didnt break their promises. goood girl.

huihui's turn.

she loves to do stupid faces. dont know learn from who one.

arent they cute together?  :)

i love them sooo much.

but now, they're older than before, means getting cunning already.

dont wanna let me kiss them already.

im getting old. (wth #$%^&*(@*&^%$ HAHA)

the plushie my mum bought for them from australia. :)

damn emo rite!!!

i love this shot. looks like she just lost something precious and cried about it.

stroke look 1

stroke look 2

hello.

----------------------------------------------------------

the next day, my sis brought them all to the saloon.

my eldest niece need to cut for the sake of her school.

and that long hair fella, running around, refused to cut her hair.

the youngest girl, need to cut coz he fringe's too long. (ilike)

she damn bo song i tell you!

look at her face.

cannot smile at all.

like something bad's happening, causing death or something.

boyfriend left her.

she almost cried.

because she wants to have long long hair like her second sis (xinxin).

haha! i think it's pretty cute.

damn unhappy!

look at her! hahahahaha! rolling on the ROAD laughing!

cannot move one ar!

but then in the car i told her that she looked ok.

and she was happy again.

sleepy i guess. :)

thats all.

HOMEWORKS! woooof.